


working towards a growing heart

by rozyroe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Kinda, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Beta Read, Takes place after the last ep of the 9th, also, changbin is soft for chan and so am i, this has been in my drafts for MONTHS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 06:13:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozyroe/pseuds/rozyroe
Summary: Changbin reads the letter Chan wrote for him, like the sentimental sap that the leader is, and reminiscences. He'll always be Grateful to the other.





	working towards a growing heart

**Author's Note:**

> I literally starting writing this the day after the last ep of the 9th came out because i was in my feeling and just never got to finishing it till now because i was busy and in a bit of a writing slump. All mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Title inspired By Start Line cause im a sap.

Changbin should have known something was up as soon as Chan asked to leave to change in the middle of filming. The leader wasn’t gone for long and came back looking just the same just without his jean jacket.

 

Seeing the stylish lettering on the back of Chan’s new sweater was cool that Changbin was only slightly joking when he called out that he would wear the sweater to his graduation if he could. Having matching items  was something they talked about in the past whether it be a sweater or some other item. When Chan pulled out letters he wrote from each member, Changbin didn’t even act surprised.

 

Chan has always been sentimental like that.

 

He looks down to the cream envelope in his hands and thumbed over the fancied scripted “Binnie” written in the center. Once everyone got their letters and the film personal said they were ready to film Changbin was quick to rip into his letter. He should have known that Chan was gonna get deep in his words, Things were finally looking up and it was time to finally let past feelings go.

 

**_Binnie,_ **

_I don’t know how to thank you. We’ve finally made the cut and get to debut. Honestly i was starting to lose hope again when Minho and Felix were taken off the team but now we're all here, all nine and im happy. You’ve been there since the start and i can’t think of how to return all you have done for me. It must have been hard yea? Trying to finish school and train? I know it was when i first started but you managed it well, I’m proud. I remember how lost i was when you first came, i had been here so long and i didn’t have the hope to debut anymore. But then shy little Changbinnie shows his really good at rapping and Jisungie came and we started 3RACHA! I couldn’t be more grateful that you decided i was someone you wanted to talk to and learn from._

**_Love, Channie_ **

* * *

 

 

Changbin walked into the building with his stomach in his throat.

 

It had only been a couple weeks since he was informed he has been accepted as a trainee at JYP ENTERTAINMENT and he still couldn’t believe he had gotten this far. He knew his friends said he was talented but it was another thing entirely to make it through tough auditions into the company. While rapping was more his style, the company wanted their artists to hon as many skills as they could before debut and today he would be starting his vocal lessons beyond just the basics he learned for after school clubs. Those weren’t till the afternoon though and he had the morning mostly to himself.

 

He didn’t have school that day so he figured he could work on his dance routine for the evaluation being held next week. He was pretty sure he got most of it but practicing more never hurt. He was walking down the hallway when someone came out of the practice room to his left  to get water. Changbin, ever so eager to get to know the other trainees, walked over and introduced him.

 

“Hello! I’m Seo Changbin nice to meet you!”

 

The person startled a little from how loud Changbin spoke. After getting the water he came out for the other trainee just glanced at Changbin with tired eyes from under his snapback before walking off without saying a word. Changbin felt his face flush in embarrassment from being ignored and walked off as fast as he could before anyone else could see him.

 

It was later that same day that Changbin ran into the trainee again when they both were together for Vocal Lessons. Well, more like Changbin was getting vocal lessons and the other trainee was moving around the room to help others. When It came time to break for a bit because their teacher got a call she needed to answer Changbin found a corner to tuck himself in while the others talked.

 

He wasn’t alone for long when another trainee he met the other day, Han Jisung, sat down right next to him.

 

“ Hi Changbin-shii!” he grins at the other and gives a little way

 

Changbin looks a little surprised, they haven’t talked much since that first meeting and he didn’t think Jisung was interested in knowing him at all. He had been wrong before though.

 

“ Hey Jisung-ah “ Changbin replies.

 

“How have you been? I mean it hasn’t been that long but still.” Jisung sounds actually interested in what Changbin must say, looking at him expectantly.

 

“Its been good, everyone has been nice for the most part.” That's true, all the teachers and staff were helpful but he can’t help but be hung up on that encounter with the trainee from earlier. He looks around the room and spot the snapback wearing boy working on his laptop on the other side of the room.

 

“For the most part?” Jisung raised a brow in question

 

“I mean...okay so i had this frankly awkward introduction to the guy on his laptop over there” Changbin pointed him out, hoping he wasn’t obvious about it. “ i tried saying hi but he just walks off...”

 

Its silent for a moment before Jisung barked out a laugh, Changbin hitting him on the arm and shushing him quickly before anyone looks at them.

 

“Oh that’s Chris, he was properly distracted when you said hi i wouldn’t take it personally.”

 

Finally, a name to fit to the face.

 

“Chris? Is he from America?” Changbin asked.

 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself” Jisung grinned and yelled out before Changbin could stop him “Chrisss-Hyung! Come hereeee”

 

Chris looks up from his laptop and shakes his head at how ridiculous Jisung looks waving his arms around like a mad man before setting down his laptop and walking over to them.

 

Changbin tries not to get flustered, he doesn’t want to be embarrassed by the same person twice in the same day. Chris sits down in front of both of them and set his hand in his lap.

 

“What’s up?” Chris asked.

 

“Chris, this is Changbin he’s new and i wanted you to say hi and not be a recluse.” Jisung states earning a playful glare from Chris before he turned to look at Changbin. The silence is awkward until Chris lets out a little gasp.

 

“You said hi to me earlier didn’t you! Sorry i ignored you, i was in the middle of helping a friend out with his dance and i didn’t want to keep him waiting.” Chris explained “I’m Chris as you know or you can call me Chan whichever works”

 

“Chan?” Changbin knows some trainees have two names, one from back home and one they choose when they come to Korea but Chris is the first foreign trainee he’s meet and he can’t tell which name to use.

 

“It’s the name i choose to use when i came here from Sydney.”

 

Changbin thinks for a moment before the dots all click into place and he understands how the names work now. “Your Korean is pretty good!”

 

Chris waved a hand “I’ve been here awhile, had a lot of time to practice...though i still mix words here and there.”

 

After that the conversation runs a lot more smoothly, Changbin learns Jisung has been at JYP for only a year and Chris has been at jyp for almost 5 years now. Changbin wants to ask chan more about it but it seems like a sore subject so he doesn’t. They both love to rap and Chris is quite the singer. They hit it off after that.

 

3RACHA is formed only a few months after that conversation.

* * *

 

 

Changbin remembers that first meeting to vividly now even through his tears. The words are simply but he knows what it too to get to this moment and he is grateful that Chan is his friends, his leader.

 

He gets up and run off to the side to wipe his tears away. Chan coos at him and hugs him from behind as a form of comfort. They all gather back together to finish filming and then Chan is crying too. The ending is just a mess of everyone trying to hug each other and cover up their own tears.

 

In the lull between helping the filming crew pack up and Chan with Felix to pick up something easy for dinner since no one is in the mood to cook Changbin finds himself laying in bed and musing so to speak.

 

He looks back on the past and remembers what it took to get where they are and he can’t help but focus on Chan and his words. They all worked hard to get here, but they all also unknowing agreed Chan has been through enough and they will try to make the debut as easy as they can for him. They all need to stick together.

 

He remembers the first time he saw Chan for more than just his charming smile.

* * *

 

It was Awards season and all the trainee usually get together in their friend groups and watch the award shows, hoping for GOT7 or TWICE to give the company as win. They watch the show in hopes to one day be on stage.

 

It's a bittersweet time for Chris. He is only Trainee left to have worked with GOT7 and few of the girls stayed after TWICE was formed so there are few who were close to them either. Seeing them on stage while he is still stuck to dreaming leaves him feeling a bit out of sorts.

 

Still, he hides away his feeling with a smile but Jisung and Changbin stick close either way. It's the night of the MAMA Awards and TWICE had just won the award for best new artist. It's just the three of them huddle in Chan’s room of the dorm. They clap for them happy that the girls one.

 

The rest of the awards goes on without incident until song of the year in announced and suddenly that drowned out by the fact that Chris is crying. Changbin panics and Jisung quickly puts an arm around chan and pulls him close.

 

“Chris? What's wrong?” Changbin asks

 

“Sorry Sorry I’m fine” He says the words coming out in english and thankfully cC

 

“You’re clearly not.” Jisung insists grabbing a tissue from a box sitting on Chris’ nightstand. Chris accepts it and wipes away the tears from his cheeks.

 

“I shouldn’t be sad for my friends success. They’ve earned it.” Chris sighs “but i can’t help but feel i don’t know...jealousy? Upset?” Chris sounds more confused thank Changbin has ever heard him. He looks lost.

 

“It's okay to feel that way...” Changbin speaks up “everyone becomes a trainee hoping to debut and it can be hard knowing that your friends made it but you didn't’t. You have right to feel upset about it.”

 

Chris just nodded.

 

“You don’t have to feel bad for being upset.” Jisung continues “I mean...you still friends with all of them right? So don’t feel like you’ve lost everything already.” His smile is a little crooked but endearing all the less “plus you have us Hyung!”

 

Chris looks to both of them and smiles “Yea i guess you guess will do.”

 

“Hey!”

* * *

 

 

Changbin thinks of other members after that. Various thoughts of meeting the other members and Chan deciding that if JYP wasn’t going to put him in a group after soon long then he will just have to make one himself. Other trainee’s called him a fool when he asked them to join.

 

Changbin wonders how they feel right now, with their debut just a couple weeks away.

 

Changbin and Jisung could only do so much to be there with Chan in the beginning. He knows now that when they met, Chan was not doing so well. He was starting to accept that maybe the idol life was him. But what do you do when you’ve spent your adolescent life in the halls of a corporate building hope for the stage in a country that you’ve never considered home before?

 

Chan used to talk of Austrailia like it was a far off dream. He would only go home for a few days a year but call almost nightly and cry to himself filled with a yearning for home.

 

Then Felix came and Changbin is more than grateful for his arrival in more ways than one.

* * *

 

 

“A new trainee! A new trainee!” Hyunjin sings as he skips around the dorm the day that Felix arrives but all they know before he comes is that he should be at the dorm around noon and they only learn his name when he arrives. JYP isn't one to give many details on these things.

 

“Okay Hyunjin-ah calm down. Don’t want to scare him” Woojin laughs as the other pouts and sits down on the couch. Even if some of the others don’t live in the dorm yet their friends and they also want to meet the new guy so they came over for the day. Chan comes in from a phone call with one of the showcase running to go over some details in the coming months. The smile on his face in promising.

 

An hour later there is a knock at the door and Woojin may have gotten up a bit too eagerly to answer it. Changbin looks up from his phone to see the newcomer.

 

Woojin opens the door to see one of the managers standing outside with another boy standing next to him. The boy makes eye contact with Woojin before quickly look away. Woojin lets the boy come in and shares a few words with the manager before waving him goodbye.

 

The door closes and the boy in awkward standing in the middle of the living room, it's silent.

 

Changbin looks around the others expectantly before Chan speaks up.

 

“Hello! Welcoming to the Dorm! I’m Chan. I’ll let the others introduce themselves.” He smiles kindly.

 

The boy blinks at them before sputtering and bowing to them.

 

“Hello! My’s name is Felix please take care of me!” He says it loud. His pronunciation is shaking and the others can tell it's been rehearsed definitely more than once.

 

The others go to introduce themselves but Chan puts out a hand to stop them. He seems to see something that Changbin also notices. The lit of Felix’s voice it something Changbin remembers from seeing the view videos of Chan when he first came to JYP

 

Videos that Chan cringes at whenever he sees them again.

 

“Do you speak English?” Chan says the accent of his voice soothing to Changbin, as it is always.

 

The boy shoots up straight and everyone can see the relief on his face. He grins.

 

“Yea! Just flew in from Sydney!” His voice is quite deep despite his young appearance. After that things are easier and more difficult simultaneously. The rest know some basic phrases in English, picking up a few more tips from Chan but their conversations never flow quite right towards Felix.

 

Changbin feels a little bad that Chan must play translator when they get to know each others but Felix is a quick learner from the phrases he already knows so it shouldn’t be much of a problem soon. He’s Happy thought, Chan finally has a piece of home that he has been missing and Felix also has someone to help him with the transition between the two countries.

 

Changbin stays the night and ends up Sitting next to Chan on the couch with Jisung. The Original trio taking some times to themselves.

 

“I like Felix. We should keep him” Jisung jokes

 

“Yea i think so too.” Chan agrees. He has this content look on his face, like he finally found something.

 

Changbin looks at him and speaks up “How to you feel Hyung? Finally, got a piece of Austrailia back”

 

Chan meets his gaze and smiles “Yea i did. I’m happy to be here to help Felix. I know moving from another country is hard.”

 

Changbin must fight off imagining a young Chris coming to Korea without much knowledge of the language and only a few interactions with the culture from his parents and even then thinks in Austrailia are still done a bit differently. He knows that others, like Chan’s friend BamBam, come here from other places too but there were still differences even they could help Chan with.

 

Changbin can’t do much about it now but look at how Felix and Chan interact, sometimes in way that seem crazy to Changbin but he wasn’t one to judge, and feel content.

* * *

 

 

“Changbin! Dinner c’mon” Chan pops his head intro the room and smiles his dimpled grin before leaving again. Changbin blinks away the haze of the past and sits up to go join the others to eat.

 

Dinner goes well, there all bickering like brothers and getting a little sentimental if he’s honest. Chan tells then to get some sleep as they are back to a full day of practice in the morning. The crunch time in upon them and while he is confident they will be a little extra practice doesn’t hurt anyone.

 

Changbin loses at rock paper scissors and ends up being the last one to go to his room after showing and the like so he can sleep in a few extra minutes in the morning. Chan is facing away from him when he enters the room and Changbin quietly slips into bed to not disturb the other.

 

Awhile passes and Changbin finds that he just can’t fall asleep. The day catches up with him and he finds himself again thinking about the Leader in the bed next to his. Chan, who works so hard for all of them almost to pint of collapse just a few weeks ago if Woojin didn’t step in and yell at him for the first time since they’ve known him. That forces Chan to wake up a little to the truth and take care of himself, with a little help from the other of course. Chan, who comforts and encourages.

 

Changbin knows he probably wouldn’t be here today without the others support. Who knew a note could have such an impact on his day.

 

The younger sighs before sitting up in bed and walking the small space to Chan’s bed. He just need the other close for the night, to calm his nerves and heart.

 

“Chris?” His voice is soft but Chan, always ready to help, wakes up easily.

 

“Changbinnie?” Chan’s voice is raspy, meaning he definitely was asleep before Changbin spoke and he feels a bit bad for waking him up.

 

“C-can i sleep here” Changbin feels embarrassed, he’s not a child requiring consoling

 

But...

 

Chan lets out a small laugh before scooting over to give the other some space.

 

Changbin quickly gets into bed with the other and curls up with him. Humming in contentment with his head tucked into the other's neck.

 

“Night Changbinnie.” Chan mumbles, running a hand through Changbin’s hair as a form of comfort.

 

Chan is asleep quickly after that. Changbin looks up to see the serene look on his face. A Chris who was happy was Changbin’s favorite.

 

He sleeps soundly that night. Dreams filled with nights of spontaneous producing and Aussie slang lessons. In his dreams Chan is on Stage where he belongs and Smiling.


End file.
